Kestrel – Human Lawman
Miles – Human Hacker
Kregan – Troll Street Samurai
Squid – Ork Drone Rigger
Burnout – Human Street Shaman/Mage
Robert – Dwarf Assassin
Kregan: They call me the minotaur.
Miles: If we go to a maze we’ll call you.
Kregan: I am a-maze-ing.
Miles: That was way too smart a pun for you.
Kregan: What can I see around the pavilion? Like who’s around here?
GM: There’s drones flying around the park, cutting the lawn, trimming the hedges, that kind of thing.
Miles: If those turn evil their lights turn red, right?
(Kregan disables a drone gardener with his stun baton)
Miles: Did the drone like yell out for help?
Kregan: No. They’re not even programmed for that. Like, who would mug a drone?
Squid: Well…you just did.
Kregan: Wait, are we supposed to keep everybody out? Is there even anyone in there?
Miles: No, we wait until the meeting starts, then after they close the doors we keep everyone out after that.
Kregan: So beating up that hobo was just recreational, then?
Kregan: Can I grapple her, like a bear?
Kregan: is it a bad idea?
GM: Not if you succeed.
Kregan: Me and those ork girls were having a friendly brawl in the park and you guys started shooting.
Miles: I didn’t shoot until someone else started shooting!
Squid: He threw a fireball at me!
GM: I’m pretty sure that happened after you shot him.
Squid: Well…clearly one of my drones malfunctioned.
GM: Well, we could take you downtown and you can talk to our seargent, or you can pay the fine of 100 Nuyen.
Squid: Well, I don’t really have anything to do today, so if you want to go downtown…but I’ll tell you what, this isn’t my drone so I’ll throw it in the trash and pay you 50 nuyen for cleanup costs.
GM: You want to pay me fifty? Does this look like a negotiation?
Squid: Kind of.
GM: Fine. We’ll take fifty.
Squid: Great. You got change for a hundred?
GM: Don’t you have a bunch of Bennies?
Kregan: I do. Where are they? They’re gone. Wait. They’re in my pocket.
Kregan: Should we tell the people inside about the bomb?
Miles: …We were told not to bother them.
Kregan: I’m pretty sure the bomb will bother them.
Miles: We were told not to let anyone in. They didn’t say anything about explosions outside the building.
GM: There might be combat tonight. Depending on what you guys do.
Squid: Oh there’s going to be combat. There may not be any NPCs involved but there will be a fight.
Burnout: What are shock frills?
Kregan: They’re to keep people from grappling you. Don’t buy those. No one ever grapples.
Squid: You did.
Kregan: Oh that’s right. I grappled someone last week.
Squid: I was gonna say. We’ve played one time and so far we have a 100 % grapple rate.
Kregan: You should buy shock frills. Apparently I’m grabby.
Kregan: How much are we getting paid?
Kregan: The det charges to blow up the building will cost more than that.
GM: Those will be provided.
Burnout: Wait how much are the explosives worth?
Miles: Where is the building we need to blow up?
Miles: Oh well, let’s just kill them. Nobody cares about gnomes.
Kregan: Nobody correct him.
Miles: We could try just replacing the guards.
Kregan: Oh at some point they’re going to have to replace their guards. Because we’re going to kill them.
Miles: Who said anything about killing the drivers?
Kregan: You did when you suggested carjacking their truck.
Miles: Don’t kill them. Just tie them up.
Kregan: I didn’t buy the gun that shoots ropes.
Kregan: That door can’t be opened from the outside.
Miles: Why not?
Kregan: Cause you never take the chance that the Mongol horde has hacked your garage door clicker.
Miles: This place has some serious security.
Kregan: Yeah. And we got hired to blow the place up.
Squid: These people may in fact not be paranoid enough.
Kregan: This is a Trojan horse strategy. When the horse showed up Troy opened the gates.
Miles: Yeah and then everybody learned not to do that anymore.
Kregan: We don’t need to block the road with a truck. We can get some hookers and leave them on the road.
Miles: What makes you think they’ll stop for hookers?
Kregan: Well we won’t dress them as hookers. We’ll dress them as school marms or something
GM: So now there’s three heists? Step one hijack hookers. Step two use hijacked hookers to hijack truck. Step three use hijacked truck to get inside.
Kregan: Step four kill everyone inside. Step five blow up building.
Miles: Step six, profit.
Kregan: Burnout’s new plan is to hijack a police cruiser to pull over the truck.
Burnout: We can hijack the police cruiser with the hookers.
Squid: There’s like three too many heists going on right now.
Squid: Miles says he can hack the door or you can blow it open with det cord.
Kregan: Right. But can you do it in under 45 seconds?
Squid: While getting a blowjob, with a gun to your head?
Kregan: We’ll hijack the hookers for that. I just want to see her face as she looks up and asks “How is this helping?”
Miles: It’s not hurting.
GM: It’s not gonna suck itself…
Miles: I wrote my college thesis on that.
Kregan: How did you graduate?
Miles: I didn’t.
Kregan: Wait were you an Econ major?
Kregan: Aren’t we stealing a car? I thought that’s what these guys were in charge of.
Squid: You were the one that said we shouldn’t get civilian police involved by committing another crime. We listened to you. Oddly.
Kregan: I know. I’m touched.
Burnout: You realize we just spent three hours and our plan was drive up and come out shooting.
Kregan: That’s actually an improvement for us.
Burnout: What do i need to roll? I have a d12 plus 5.
GM: You need a 16.
Squid: So you need to roll an 11 or a 12.
Kregan: So you’re saying its possible.
Burnout: So I guess my nature spirit goes away?
GM: Well you gave him the command to kill that guy and now that guy is dead. So be careful with your commands.
Squid: Next time just tell him to protect you.
Miles: Or kill all your enemies.
Kregan: Don’t do that. We’ve been pretty mean to him tonight.
Burnout: Can I tell my nature spirit to generally guard this area and kill any bad guys?
Kregan: Again, bad guy could include us.
Burnout: Kill anyone who’s not one of us four?
Kregan: I’m waving at them that it’s clear with my shield.
Miles: I’m asking over the comm what all that waving means.
Kregan: Oh yeah. We can talk.
GM: This job pays 15,000 Nuyen.
Kregan: That’ll be easy to split three ways.
GM: There’s four of you…
Kregan: One of us is bound to die. What? I’m just playing the odds.
GM: I’m having a problem with one of my competitors.
Squid: Is it Paladin Medical Technology?
Miles: Is it Doc Wagon?
Kregan: Is it someone I work for already? I work for a lot of triads.
GM: Ok. Anymore inane questions?
Kregan: Oh yeah.
Squid: Lots. Seriously can we get some dumplings?
GM: Great. Dumplings and handjobs.
Kregan: That’s gonna be our new band name.
Miles: Dumpling and the Handjobs.
Kregan: We’re gonna sell so many tickets. And then have to issue so many refunds.
GM: Don’t haggle until you hear the job.
Squid: Nah, we were taking the job either way. We just want more money.
Kregan: And some short ribs.
Miles: They wanna kill meta humans? We’re probably working for that Roger dead guy.
Squid: I like the idea that his name is Roger deadguy.
Burnout: It’s pronounced de-AH-gee.
Miles: What’s the difference between an Orc and a troll?
GM: About two feet.
Miles: One if them has four feet? Which one?
Kregan: We’re not saying.
Kregan: Do something quiet. Use your taser.
Miles: I don’t have a taser. I have a pistol
Kregan: What about you? Do you have a quiet spell?
Burnout: I could heal them quietly.
Kregan: Ok. Shotguns it is.
Kregan: You guys know there’s a door here, right?
Squid: I didn’t smash those drones through a window so I could NOT crawl through it. Have you ever seen an action movie?
Kregan: I am an action movie.
Kregan: Don’t you know the nursery rhyme “napalm sticks to children”?
GM: I don’t think that’s a nursery rhyme.
Kregan: We went to different nurseries. Don’t be racist.
Kregan: I’m going to kill them.
Squid: They’re innocents! You can’t just shoot them.
Kregan: Sure I can. They don’t have armor.
Miles: Is the van armored?
Kregan: Let’s not hang out and trust the armor to save us.
Miles: I was thinking we could use it for cover but that seems like a bad idea.
Kregan: All our ideas are bad ideas.
GM: How many bennies do you get?
Robert: No, wait! This is a different character…
GM: Oh, how many does this guy get?
Robert: I think maybe we should assassinate their mage.
Miles: How do you do that?
Robert: Typically I stab them.
Miles: You should take our mage, too.
Robert: Why so I can stab him?
Miles: What? No! So he can counterspell whatever their mage casts.
Kestrel: Wow. That went downhill fast.
Burnout: What kind of skill is disabling a ward?
GM: Magical Assensing.
Burnout: Yeah, my magical assensing is terrible.
Miles: You’re the mage. Did you buy any magic skills?
GM: So you don’t actually disable the ward you sort of…
Robert: Add yourself to the user list?
GM: Right. Like that.
Robert: So it’s like a sequel injection.
Miles: Yeah, but isn’t the sequel always worse than the original?
Burnout: I can’t remember if I have a 4 or a 6 in this skill…
Miles: Than it’s six.
Kestrel: We’ve decided to go with the simplest possible plan.
Robert: I still don’t see how the goat is involved.
Kestrel: There’s no goat. I think your confusion is coming from the fact that this plan is the G.O.A.T. It’s the Greatest of All Time.
Robert: The only person that died in this plan is the fake cat.
Miles: The fake cat died?
Burnout: Aw. Now I feel bad.
Miles: Me too.
Robert: We sent the fake cat to a terrible fake vet!
Miles: Well we should have sent it to a better fake vet! It would have been worth the fake money we spent!