Marshall: Running the game.
Waylan Wexler: A wandering huckster.
Jefferson J. Jameson: A mad scientist.
Jedediah Cogburn: A former lawman.
Griff Hatfield: A former tavernkeeper.
Waylan: We’re not afraid of anything. Except for…stuff.
Jefferson: I still don’t understand why you would need human hearts. I mean, it has to be cheapter to just hire a bunch of Chinamen to do this.
Jefferson: The success of this plan hinges on “probably”?
Jedediah: That’s better than most of our plans.
Jefferson: Is this how Mr. Wolf acted?
Waylan: It is.
Jefferson: To be fair we were on his train.
Jedediah: All we wanted was sandwiches.
Waylan: I’m going to..
Griff: Pleasure the corpse?
Jedediah: I’m glad i’m not in line of sight of that
Marshall: That guy has a bulletproof vest, a Gatling pistol and a satchel filled with vials.
Waylan: This guy’s totally naked!
Marshall: I may have just killed Jedediah.
Jedediah: 5 successes!?
Jefferson: Funny story. I could have taken healing when we leveled up.
Jedediah: I’m gonna move back 6.
Marshall: Oh, that guy near you is dead.
Jedediah: Oh, then I’m only gonna move back 5.
Jefferson: Are we trying to kill these guys?
Waylan: They have black eyes, black tongues, and that guy tried to punch me in the face!
Jefferson: The default state of nature is recovering from the previous catastrophe. There. That’s some free science learnin I just dropped on you.
Waylan: The good thing about a fire is it destroys-
Jefferson: The evidence?
(Waylan has an irrational phobia of bovines and the group has been attacked by a zombified cow)
Jedediah: There! I killed the cow!
Waylan: I have always relied on the kindness of strangers!
Jedediah: I’m a little disappointed you still consider me a stranger…
Waylan: He didn’t make you a dynamite launcher so you could set things on fire. He made you a dynamite launcher so you could LAUNCH DYNAMITE.
Jefferson: This man speaks the truth.
Jedediah: Does this explode on contact?
Jefferson: It does. That’s why I have to rig it.
Jedediah: Well in that case fire at will. Or whatever the zombie’s name is.
(After being betrayed by the Doctor who claimed to be a Pinkerton agent)
Jedediah: Pinkerton my ass!
Waylan: Uh, no thanks.