Attack of the Slownado


Kurt: It’s a slow moving Tornado. It’s just…not…moving…very fast.

Eli: It’s a slow-nado?

*

Farone: I’m actually taller than the Demon.

Travis: I doubt that.

Farone: What are you talking about? You’re like 5 foot 10. I’m 6-11.

Kurt: You’re 6-11?

Farone: I…I don’t know how tall I am.

*

Eli: Did you check the scrolls to see if anything like this has ever happened before?

Kurt: Nothing’s ever happened before.

*

Dave: Did I mention the Demon that I saw?

Kurt: No. Seems like that would have come up…

Todd: List of things that are important: #1. Got a haircut. #2. Demon.

Kurt: Did the Demon hurt you?

Dave: No, he was busy paying attention to the guy with the gun.

Kurt: …

Todd: #3. Guy with gun.

later

Kurt: If something were going on there would have been some kind of sign.

Dave: Like the giant dark slow moving tornado outside?

Kurt: There’s a giant dark tornado?

Todd: #4! Giant Dark Tornado!

*

Todd: These dice have pips on them for showing body damage.

Kurt: You said ‘pips’.

Todd: They are pips.

Dave: They are pips.

Kurt: Well…I know.

*

Travis: Just let me carry you then we can fly over to the other vortex.

Dave: Carry me? Your hands have big nasty bloody claws on them!

Travis: It’s not my blood.

*

Farone: What is my “Offensive Rating”?

Todd: That’s just an arbitrary number made by the program that did character sheets.

Dave: It’s not arbitrary.

Farone: Well what is it then?

Dave: OCV is your Offensive Combat Value.

Farone: No, Offensive Rating.

Dave: Oh, that’s arbitrary.

*

Kurt: It’s 42 minus…

Todd: It’s 25.

Kurt: No, it’s 42 – 17.

Todd: 25.

Kurt: Dave, what is it?

Dave: 25.

Kurt: Right.

Todd: How come when Dave says it it’s right, but when I say it you gotta ask Dave?

Kurt: Cause when I look at you I hear funny things and when I look at Dave I hear smart things.