Horror Weekend Extravaganza

Seeing as how neither of us updates this site enough I decided I’d jot down some thoughts on the six (yes, six!) horror movies I watched on Netflix over the weekend.

I started my weekend with Last Shift (which come to think of it, I should have watched last). Not because I had any particular interest in it, but mostly because every time I open Netflix it’s at, or near the top of the list of things Netflix recommends to me. I don’t know why Netflix thinks I should watch it, but it does, so I did.

I know it looks like it says "Lost Shift" but trust me, that pentagram is an "A".

I know it looks like it says “Lost Shift” but trust me, that pentagram is an “A”.

Last Shift is the story of a rookie cop who is tasked with guarding the old precinct on the last night it’s open before moving to the new precinct. Spoiler alert, the old precinct is haunted. The ghost in question appears to be a Charles Manson stand-in, up to and including a bunch of lunatic females who worship him, and their ghosts also show up to wreak havoc while our poor heroine is just trying to get through one night alone in a creepy, abandoned police station.

I give it a solid B-, it kept me entertained for the most part and turned out to be much darker than I anticipated.

Silly kids, those bags are going to rip if you don't clean up that blood.

Silly kids, those bags are going to rip if you don’t clean up that blood.

After that Netflix recommended some movies and I just picked one at random, choosing Hellions. The story of Halloween in a small Canadian town. Our heroine in this movie just found out she’s pregnant. Her mom and little brother go out trick or treating, and while she waits for him to pick her up so she can give him the (bad? good?) news a group of creepy children attack the house, telling her that her unborn child should be given to them for…I don’t really know, not a lot of it made sense. But the sheriff in town was everyone’s favorite T-1000, so that was a plus.

Overall Hellions gets a C-, mostly because I didn’t understand what the creepy kids wanted with another creepy baby.

My night didn’t end there, however.

I'm bringing sexy back.

I’m bringing sexy back.

Netflix recommended The Hollow (I guess I was on a strong, female lead horror kick) which is not to be confused with the Hallow, but is the story of three sisters who are trying to go live with their aunt, who lives on an island off the coast of somewhere (I think maybe Seattle, or Oregon?). There’s a big storm coming and everyone’s abandoning the island because the last time there was a big storm a bunch of people died.

Our three sisters show up to find their aunt dead, the littlest sister has visions of people dying, and then of course there’s the giant tree monster, who’s actually a curse laid down by a group of witches who lived on the island and got killed many, many years ago. I guess every time the storm comes the creature gets to come out and eat people, so of course there’s a merry chase through the woods, and…well, the ending of this wasn’t as dark as last shift, but I won’t spoil it.

Overall it gets a B- as well, if only because as confused as I was about Hellions this seemed to make a lot more sense.

He's right behind...oh, wait, you can't hear me.

He’s right behind…oh, wait, you can’t hear me.

I actually got some sleep, but Saturday Night came and I couldn’t help myself I went for another Netflix trilogy. This time I started with Hush, which I’d heard good things about. Essentially it’s the story of a deaf woman who is trapped in her house and tormented by a crazy guy in a mask who has already killed her neighbors. I was surprised to see John Gallagher, Jr. here, playing crazy guy with a crossbow, since I had just seen him in 10 Cloverfield Lane, and I was a fan of his since The Newsroom. He really is kind of a chameleon as I almost didn’t recognize him here, and I had to look him up after Cloverfield to remember where I knew him from.

He was sufficiently creepy, the movie breezed along at a nice clip, and it hit me with a couple of unexpected twists, so overall I give it a B+ on the Netflix Random Horror movie list.

Winter is coming. To Scotland. Again. Like Always. (Also, this movie has no poster).

Winter is coming. To Scotland. Again. Like Always. (Also, this movie has no poster).

Time to Prey popped up on my “since you watched Last Shift” list, and I watched it only to discover it was also about a female, rookie cop spending most of the first night alone in a police station, though to be fair, for a while, she has other cops there. Of course, those other cops are bat-guano crazy and try to murder her, but it’s ok because Ser Davos(!) shows up as some kind of demon (or possibly death?) and things get wacky and murder-y. It wasn’t bad, though, and was apparently funded by the Scottish film board, presumably as part of their “keep people from ever wanting to come to Scotland” campaign. It gets a C+, mostly because Ser Davos!

In the movie they call her "Bloody Mary" and nobody calls her American Mary. I have no explanation for this title.

In the movie they call her “Bloody Mary” and nobody calls her American Mary. I have no explanation for this title.

Finally I watched a movie that has been taunting me for months (I don’t know why, I just kept seeing it and thinking I should watch it, but then for some reason never did) called American Mary, which is the story of a med student who ends up dropping out of med school to perform body modification surgery on people, and also, she works for a strip club owner/gangster, who’s in love with her, but sweetly, doesn’t know how to tell her, and she takes care of “problems” for him, you know, surgically. Also, he helps her out even more than she helps him, disposing of unwanted bodies, finding her people to operate on, etc. There’s some strangeness to this movie, but overall I found it kind of charming. It gets a B+ rating.

Overall, pretty good weekend of Netlfix horror watching. I may do this again soon.

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