Things I don’t understand: Jumanji Remakes

I figured that since this is now a real thing I should update this page. If you look below you’ll see what I wrote way back in, Good Lord, I don’t even know when that was. 2015? 14? At any rate, the Jumanji remake obviously didn’t happen in 2016, but it’s happening now, in 2017.

Here’s a trailer.

And here’s the original post I made:

Here’s a link for you.
In case you’re reading this in the far future of like, I don’t know, two months after I post this, that’s a link to an IMDB page for the Jumanji remake, scheduled to come out in 2016.
If your first question is, “What the hell is Jumanji?” I can’t really fault you for that. I exist in a social bubble that is well aware of that movie, but I don’t know how popular it is outside that circle. I mean it has Robin Williams in it, but so does Club Paradise, and I seem to be one of only twelve people on that planet that’s seen that movie.
Your second question should probably be, “Why the hell are they remaking Jumanji?” The answer to that question is…I have, literally, no idea. It wasn’t, as far as I know, super profitable. I don’t think it’s on the “made billions of dollars” list. There’s no one clamoring for more Jumanji, at least not in the circles I run in. Here’s a fun little tidbit, did you know that Jumanji had a sequel? It’s called Zathura.
Did you know there was a Jumanji cartoon that ran for three seasons? I didn’t. Maybe this movie is more popular than I thought it was.
But here’s a problem, the original starred Robin Williams. How are they going to replace him?
Here’s my guess.
That guy’s in everything.

Obviously I was wrong and they didn’t Pratt it up (though he’s still in everything) but instead went for the solid stability of the Rock, Jack Black, Kevin Hart, and Gillian Anderson.

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